the lunch bunch

There is nothing worse in life is the "shoulda, coulda and wouldas".

I've had enough of those regrets.

Sometimes you just don't 'think" and you get wrapped up in your own stuff. Then before you know it, even if you have good intentions, life passes you by.

I still miss my Aunt and it's been six years since her passing. I have still have those "shoulda, coulda and woulda" regrets.

I don't want to make those same mistakes with my father.

The sad thing is when people find out you are sick they tend to avoid you. They feel sorry for you but they seem to just disappear. I don't think my dad has many visitors. I think he doesn't want to be a bother to anyone either.

My father has his good days and bad days. I call all the time to see how he is doing. Regardless of my schedule I come up to visit even for an hour. I think an hour is all he can take.

I remember a funny thing my father said to me, "I like when you visit because you leave early". I cracked up. In other words, I'm not the "guest that wouldn't leave". I kind of can tell when it's time to go because he gets tired and needs to lay down.

He will call me with "speed dial" that my mother had set up for him.

He called me twice tuesday. He said he would like to go out to eat "only if it is an early bird special". I told him I had a coupon for lunch at the 99 restaurant instead. He loves the idea that he get's a "deal". That is good motivating factor in getting him out and about.

I joked with him about "disturbing my moths in my wallet"to pay for lunch. He wanted to pay so I joked, "oh no..I'm paying for this lunch because this is a cheap date! You can take me to the Wentworth instead! HA!" (The Wentworth is a la de da place) He cracked up.

I made sure we had a seat right near the door. He has a hard time walking. He was a bit self conscious about walking and he said, "he didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me(him)". I responded quickly and said, "oh no, they just think you're a friggin' pain in the ass". Again, he cracked up. Humor is important.

We talked about alot of things. I even told him about my blog. He was impressed. I expressed how I was disappointed with my neice and nephew in NZ because they had 'forgotten' for the second year in a row to acknowledge my sister's birthday (their mother). I expressed that I thought they were self absorbed and inconsiderate. Dad pretty much told me in a subtle way not to judge them because "they are not sure who's on their side". The kids parents went through a acrimonious divorce. Every once in awhile, my father comes through with a gem of wisdom. I think he is probably right. Who knows what is going on in those kids minds and what the situation is "across the pond".

We had a good lunch. He was exhausted after that. I take each day as a gift.

I can't worry about what happened yesterday or on how things were in the past. I can only focus on what is happening today. I can only make today a good day.

And we had a good day.