As I write this I am having carpenters replace our scrotty ol' sliders with french doors.
I stay out of their way so they can do their job.
Meanwhile.
I can hear the birds.
They now have a "new" audience.
I think to myself.
Oh no...
"Louie" starts up.
I hear ,"HEY! HEY! (wolf whistle) "HEY! yah YOOOU!"
Then "Patches" joins in.
"Whattcha doin"?"
Louie, again, "Doin' doin, doing?!"
I sit still bracing myself knowing what is next.
I hear a murmuring of the carpenters amongst themselves thinking that I am down stairs talking to them but no, it is the birds.
I hear "Whook" winding up with some preliminary garble.
And then I hear it.
Loud and clear.
"Whatcha doin' ya F*&^%ing nerd!?!?!?!....
oh Jesus Christ...sssssshiiiiiiit...
oh my Gawd! You sssssszzz.......STINK!!! STINK!! BZZZZZZZZZ! I loooooove you! Jesus CCCCCHrist........"
I cringe.
All I could think of is that scene in the three Stooges episode "Crash goes the Hash" where the parrot gets inside the turkey and walks around saying, "jeeper creepers..... what a night!"
I am afraid to go downstairs...
What the fu$%% are doing to those birds of yours! I may have to call PETA to turn you in for contributing to the delinquency of birds. They sound like they are smarter than the Three Stooges. Why don't you teach them the limerick of "there was a man from Nantucket". Now that would be something. Hearing your birds talking to the carpenters had to be one of the funniest things I have heard in a while.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious! You might want to have a conversation with your carpenters, just so they know that language isn't coming out of you.
ReplyDelete...and that you didn't teach it to them. They're rescue birds, so someone else taught them the naughty words. Ri-i-i-g-h-h-t.
ReplyDeleteLater that day, I had a rep from mary kay cosmetics come over to do a make-over.
ReplyDeleteOh boy.."Whook" was on a tear!
He also started to do "teenage boy" things to his cloth perch as well.