Thursday, April 8, 2010
fashion violations
April 7, 1992 we got clobbered with over a foot of snow.
April 7, 2010 the temps reached 90F degrees.
Of course, I had to go down to the beach yesterday. It was more like June 7th. The beach was packed with people in bathing suits. Kids were in the water splashing around. A few "Hampton beacher" types did the run, scream your head off and made the dive into the waves.
And of course, the warm weather brings out the "fashion show..or not" around town. People going about their business doing errands or out for a walk with chums.
OK OK it is only my opinion but I just can't help myself. I am only human, right?
There are just some people that should be arrested by the "fashion police" just for wearing hideous clothes and shoes.
Yes, I know, I basically wear an "uniform' when I am working. I wear carhartt pants and boots and a t-shirt with my company's logo on it when I am taking care of animals. No, I do not dress like Terri Hatcher in Versace jeans and a silk top when I am working. Matter-of-fact, every job I had I had to wear some sort of uniform. Even when I interned at the state house, the 2 piece suit was my uniform. And no, I'm not really a fashion snob. I have no problem with someone wearing a nicely fitted inexpensive brand of jeans (Rider jeans) so long as they fit right and are flattering.
I scour vintage shops and high end consignment shops for designer bargains but the key is the fit. You could spend $$$ on a pair of designer pants and still look like a pig.
It's the fit, the style and how it flatters your body type.
OK OK here we go...
Serious fashion violations that should be banned because no one looks good wearing them.
1. birkenstock shoes. OMG F*&^ing hideous! Especially with socks...GAG!
2. crocs. Oh gross. They should only be worn while gardening.
3. flip flops. Please only wear these at the beach. I was horrified when I saw a photo in the newspaper of a group of high school kids visiting the White House and 90% of them were wearing flip flops. WTF.
4. Sneakers with a suit. Ellen DeGeneres are you listening? GROSS!
5. Flood pants. No one looks good wearing these. They make you look fat and short.
6. Pajama bottoms. Criiiiinge.....eeeeew!
7. low rise pants exposing your (lower) stomach and waist. Only a small group of people can wear these.You have to be extremely slim and fit. Nothing is worse that having a panda stomach and pudge squishing over the sides thinking you actually look cool wearing these clothes.
8. thongs. If you can see the thong it is just wrong.
9. cowl neck sweaters. Ugly and soooo 80s. Yuck
10. pants hanging down so low you can see a guys boxers. I don't get it. Did'nt your mother ever dress you?
11.grubby t-shirts and jeans at formal and semi-formal occasions. Again, didn't your mother ever dress you or teach you respect?
12. plaid shirts. Nerd wear.
13. corduroy pants. Especially brown or dark green corduroy pants.
This goes along with corduroy suit jackets with the patches on the elbows. Gross.
If I have to explain....
14. knee high stockings while wearing a dress.
OK I had my bitchy fun for the day. ):-P
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Uh oh... The Captain wears crocks! Run, Captain, Run! Patron Saint is sending the fashion police after you!
ReplyDeleteSo does the First Mate. They work great at not leaving black marks on the boat. They also drain quickly when you're washed by a wave on the swim platform while trying to get someone's weights out of their BC pocket. Mine are green and not nearly as evil as the purple ones shown above. :^)
ReplyDeleteHa ha! :-P My bad!
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgot to add to the list of "fashion faux pas" when over-weight or lumpy ladies wear white, tan or hot pink stretch pants completing the ensemble with a sweatshirt with a teddy-bear on it. I spotted one today walking over to KMart.