paddleboard

* my cousin Kim took this photo of me clowning around on a paddleboard on Lake Gardner.

One the the reasons I love living up by the seacoast is that my cousin lives nearby.
She is always motivating me to do stuff. Over ten years ago when I first moved up here we attended a woman's" realize your dreams" workshop. And of the course  during the event  I was being my usual smart ass self whispering to my cousin, "oooh do you feel 'empowered' yet?" (The word 'empowered" is a word used quite frequently ad nauseum in women's workshops) The bottom line was that we both ended up starting our own pet care services thanks to her giving me the right push!
She (with great patience) taught me Spanish lessons. I would do 'extra credit' assignments making comic strips using spanish. I thought it was hilarious but I think I tested her patience with my juvenile antics more than once. (No doubt I would've been "frog-marched" to the principle office if I were a middle schooler!) The bottom line is when I recently visited Mexico I could speak and understand a bit of the language thanks to her.
We had done yoga together and just recently, zumba. There are certain songs at zumba class we both like and some songs we make faces at each other. When I am with her I am like a thirteen year old brat!
In the summer on hot days, we would head out to Lake Gardner with her dogs and swim outside the designated swimming areas. The dogs loved it as well as we did. We had our own private beach.
A few weeks ago we tried paddle boarding. As you can see from the photo above I was clowning around. I would lift one foot up and salute. I figured out of our group: Kim, Joey and my husband, I would be the one to fall off the board into the drink. Everyone else was careful on the board.
However, my cousin stumbled and fell backwards in the water. It was unexpected and it rattled her.
In addition to keeping an active lifestyle, she was always very good about promoting healthy eating. She bought me a super "super foods" cookbook which I use quite a bit. She would urge me to get regular check ups and "make sure you get your boobs squished". "Are you taking your vitamin D and calcium?"
Last week, she had a bit of a stomach ache and at the same time she said her lungs felt congested perhaps due to allergies. She went to her doctor figuring it would just be something routine. I get a call from her husband saying that she is in the hospital for a bunch of tests. I figure the doctor are just being super thorough. Kim said she felt OK. The doctor kept her overnight and there were more disconcerting tests.
The results were not what we expected.
When she told me what the doctors told her I felt like a mouse on  a glue-trap.
 Shock and disbelief. I was hoping in her usual Jim Carrey style of humor would say, "HA! jus' jokin'!"
But she didn't.
The big "C"
How can that be possible?
fuck fuck FUCK fuck
It is like the paddleboard. I should have fell off not her.
 NOT HER....