the power of boobs

Two men walking abreast.

Both dive buddy "Pete' and my father are amused (and never seem to tire) of this joke.

My ex-husband would unceremoniously  announce every time he saw a well endowed woman walk by: "Chobe city! Population two!" (Chobes were his word for boobs) He was so gross and lame. He could amuse himself for hours with his cracks about boobs.

Comedian Joan Rivers co-wrote a book titled,"Men are stupid and they love big boobs".

So what is this fascination with boobs?

They seem to have a hypnotic effect on men.

A female family member of mine (who will remain nameless) will purposely wear a low cut breast enhancing top whenever she is flying because, as she claims, has helped her get  "upgrades" to a business class seating from coach.She had this "special" top hanging in her closet known as her "upgrade shirt".

Underwear shopping is always an ordeal for me. I hate cheezy cheap nylon anything. Yuck!...

Would you put crappy nylon seat covers in your corvette? 

Of course not.

Not only do corvettes deserve high test fuel but, even if no one ever sees it, a corvette deserves classy high quality fitted seat covers.

And yes, if I were a car, I'd be a corvette classic.

Sometimes my long time girl-friend and I would go to downtown Boston to go "under garment shopping".

And of course, we couldn't help but torture each other in the process. Since she was rather buxom I would make some smart ass remarks to her by saying shit like, " Hey! You need to go to the sporting goods section to buy a "tent". Without batting an eye she would sniff," go to the pharmacy and buy yourself some bandaids"

And so it would go.

I just bought a new Sophia Vergara brassiere online.

Like a corvette where you can go zero to sixty in one minute, this bra had the same effect.

The cup size tripled in size in one second flat.

I instantly turned into "BOOBZILLA".

So I tried an experiment..

I asked my husband if he "noticed anything different".

He said "no" but his eye-balls were pressed against his glasses .He was frozen to one spot and mesmerized.

He almost seemed paralyzed.

OK

So we went out to a restaurant. Our waiter, who was a middle aged gentleman, kept filling my coffee cup even when I just took a single sip.

Ah, the power of boobs.

Oh, by the way, the birds liked to perch on 'them".