My brother's birthday is on Easter so I volunteered to make his birthday cake.
I don't make cakes very often, and only, for special occasions, because it is a messy-tedious-all- day-affair.
I make the cake from scratch and the frosting as well.
Baking the cake isn't a problem but the decorating takes hours. I am amazed at how the way the cakes are cranked out at the local supermarket bakery. I would get fired from that job as a cake decorator because I take forever going over the details.
The frosting is made of everything that is bad for you : powdered sugar, crisco, butter flavoring and vanilla (and food coloring). And yet, everyone raves at how delicious the frosting is!
After the cake was baked, cooled and ready for the frosting.I made the mistake of letting the birds out of their cages to stretch their wings.
(*Can you guess where this is going?)
I had two attention-seeking birds on my shoulder and one on my head as I was mixing up the frosting ingredients in a large bowl.I had two pound bag of powdered sugar gently getting sifted over the shortening as I was trying with one hand to maneuver the hand mixer.
FLAP FLAP FLAP! Here comes the pigeon for a crash landing!
Oh shit
Into the mixing bowl.
Powdered sugar EVERYWHERE...
I mean EVERYWHERE!!!!
Oh no!
He has spilled the food coloring all over the counter AND is now stepping in it.
He is now trying to land on my head. I have green food coloring all over the side of my face, shirt, hair, counter, floor and cabinets. The other birds are flying all over the place screeching.
Shit!!!!
Oh no, I just saw the pigeon squat to poop but where did it go?
I have greasy crisco in chunks splattered in spots. It is going to take me at least an hour (or two) to clean up the mess in this one area.
Stupid me.
I've got to put these birds back in their cages if I want to complete this project.
What the heck was I thinking that they would politely just sit nicely on my shoulder to watch?
OK after (another) two hours, I finally frosted and decorated the cake.
The kitchen looks like a disaster.
I look like a disaster, and the pigeon looks like a disaster.
I am still wondering where that poop went.
(!)
*see finished cake above with the "Family Guy" cartoon character
The cake is a work of art. How it tastes (with the question of the missing poop still unanswered) is another matter. No one will ever know about it if you don't write about it on the inter... Oops! Too late. :^)
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I am still searching for the elusive poop....