It is a true story about a resident cat at the Steere house in Rhode Island (a nursing home) who has an uncanny ability to predict when a patient is ready to leave this life onto the next.
My friend from Maine recommended this book to me not because it was just an "animal story' but more that it is about the people in the home stricken with dementia.
As a part of Parkingson's disease my father is slipping in and out of dementia.What makes dementia so horrible is that it is unpredictable and treacherous. Not only that, is the stigma and cruel stereotype one pictures when you say someone has dementia. In order to preserve my father's dignity I will just say I could feel the people's pain described in this book.I could also feel the anger and frustration dealing with someone who one minute is cognitive of their actions and within a flip of a neuron switch they completely irrational and downright dangerous.
My mother needed sometime to herself so I took my dad out for the day.
He was having a 'good day" today.
Both my husband and I needed to help him up one step into the restaurant. I always ask for the 'first seat" closest to the door so we do not have to go far.He seemed upbeat and cheerful Most of the conversation in the beginning was comprehensible.However, out of nowhere he told me he was getting his "Massachusetts driving license".
I froze.
I've learned not to argue with him.
I changed the subject.After lunch he said he wanted to go for a ride.
He wanted to go to a used car dealer to buy a car.
I told him in the calmest voice that I could manage that this was not a good idea because (he) can't get a MA license and explained to him why without making him feel bad.
He seemed OK with that.
After going for a coastal ride, I could tell he was getting tired.
I was tired too and I had a wicked ear-ache from clenching my teeth. I was getting aggravated at some of the "off" things he was saying but I kept quiet and calm.
Again,when we got home he exclaimed "a friend would pull some strings in getting him a license".
My throat tightened.
I have his truck, thank God.
I told my mother later about our day. I also cautioned her to just hide her keys 'just in case".
I couldn't help but think of that elderly man that plowed his car into a bunch of school kids waiting on the side walk.The elderly driver only stopped because he had crashed into a wall or a post. The police had to pry his fingers off the steering wheel as he kicked and screamed. He was aggressively determined for what ever irrational reasoning clicked in his brain to step on the accelerator.
His family was so horrified and distraught .I can only guess for years they tried to get him away from his car. I do not know the full story in this particular case but the unpredictability of my father's actions make me nervous I think the key thing to keep in mind that we can't ignore what is going on and stay alert of the 'what ifs" .
I never thought in a million years I would have to worry about my father's safety.
It's a balancing act of taking care of him, protecting him from danger( and safeguarding others around you ) and at the same time, preserving his well earned dignity.
Oh, V. I understand.
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