I worry about the real probability of having to place my father in a nursing home. We are doing our best to keep him home. I'm sure there are some nursing homes that are quite nice but the ones I worked in weren't exactly top shelf.
I keep going back remembering some of the things that went on in the nursing homes that I had worked at..There were some elderly ladies living there which would've been better suited for an "assisted living" residence. They did their morning walks, they were alert and social. Perhaps there was no place for them to go.Some of these ladies were crammed in four at time in one room. All of their personal belongings were summarized in one drawer in a bureau and a shared space in a closet. I think back and wonder if they had any options.Long after working there I still visited some of my favorite patients until they passed on.
The men there were a little more difficult to deal with. There was one elderly gentleman who looked like the actor Ben Kingsley. He was quiet and liked to be by himself. He was diagnosed with a syphilis induced dementia.Some of the aides and nurses feared him because of 'his history". But he was always pleasant, soft spoken and polite to me.
Then there were a few male patients that weren't so nice.
Mr "Frits..something" was a the grandfather of one of my high school classmates. Maybe this was the problem once I mentioned to him I was her classmate. For some reason, after that, he targeted me..
He started saying really dirty x-rated stuff to me. Stuff that I didn't understand. I knew it was nasty and gross by his tone.These were pre-"Monica Lewinski/ Bill Clinton" times. So I reported him to the fat nurse. She got in his face about this and he started to cry vehemently denying" these terrible accusations". The fat nurse then got in my face yelling at me for "making stuff up to get out of working".(!) I then felt really bad about speaking up and I was hoping that perhaps I misinterpreted what he had been saying to me.
The next day, he started up his shenanigans again.
I then flat out refused to go near him.
There was another dirty old man patient there who had some weird illness that made his head really huge. He would seek out female patients that were totally out of it and ones that were physically incapable of fighting off his "advances". I heard one little lady weeping who was seated behind the communal dining room table. I turned around and saw that this creep had taken her paralyzed hand and stuck it down his pants.
I was appalled.
I pulled her hand out and wheeled him out of the room.
The poor little lady was whimpering like an injured puppy.
It was terrible.
Believe it or not some of the aides thought this was funny. (!)
After that incident I kept my eye on him.
Some of the staff was definitely strange as well..
The head cook, "Chuck", was one of them.
He looked like Mr Potatoe Head.But the thing that grossed me out about him was his teeth.
When he smiled I almost puked. His teeth looked like they were covered with cream of wheat.
My sister worked in the kitchen for a short period of time. She was the one who pointed out the nasty teeth situation to me.
About a week or so later after my sister resigned from the job the phone rang at about 3:30am in the morning. I picked up the phone. It was a call from some guy who specifically asked for my sister.. The voice on the other end of the receiver sounded exactly like "Chuck" begging that he "couldn't live without her" and then abruptly hung up. We never did find out who made that call but to me, "Chuck" was highly suspect.
Then there was the big lazy gay aide. I didn't care if he was gay or the fact that he wore make-up to work. What pissed me off about him is that he got paid more than me because he was a male!.
And he bragged about it!
That was soooo totally unfair. I had more patients to care for than him and had to do the same amount of physical heavy lifting! Sexism was alive and well.
If for some reason, out of my control, that my father has to go to a nursing home at least I have an idea from my past experiences what to watch out for.
I do hope that time never comes.
No comments:
Post a Comment