Black cloud

I thought I could excape it but no matter what it finds me.

I could feel it sneaking up on my late wedsnesday evening grabbing me by the ankles. That sort of numbness slowing tuning into glass under-your-skin feeling. Then a icy claw grabs you on the back of your neck turning into burning heat with daggers. The pain is almost unbearable but it doesn't register as pain because pain pills do nothing.

The light hitting my eyes is terrible.

And sounds are unbearable. I thought if I had something to eat I might feel better but the "music" overhead in the neighborhood restaurant was like a screaching fax machine drilling into my ears like hungry earwigs.

I couldn't stand it.

My husband thought I was just being difficult and fussy. Maybe I was, but it wasn't just annoying but out right painful. I am dizzy and nauseous.

Smells. Oh my God. It seems like the whole world needs to wash their hair and their arses. I can differentiate nervous sweat from work out sweat. Either way, it's gross.

Forget about carrying on a conversation. I can't properly speak. I slur my words, can't remember words and I feel like I want to start a fight.

I feel like shit.

And it will probably last for a week. Migraines always hang around for at least a week.

All I want to do is lay down in dark quiet room, take a zomig, ice my head and eat something sweet.

I feel so self absorbed but I just can't help it. It's hard to focus on anything else.

Tomorrow should be a better day.

The Wild pigeons of Salisbury Beach part 9

I've been getting up earlier since it is light out to feed the pigeons and to go for my morning jog. The usual cast of characters await their morning breakfast except for Brownie. I haven't seen Brownie in a couple of weeks. He disappears in the summer mornings. I think he holds out for afternoon pizza crust, a discarded piece of fried doe, a dropped onion ring or fried clam instead. I've seen him in the afternoon.
I think Craow Dum's attempt at fatherhood was a bust. It looks like somebody threw a metal bracket up where he usually nests. I honestly don't know if it was there before but I had just noticed it hanging off the shelf where he usually roosts and the nest was destroyed.
It has been abnormally hot for this time of year. It is really gross walking dogs in this weather. I've been taking them in the woods to get out of the blasting sun. My choice is either get fried in the sun and throw up from heat stroke or go in the woods and get covered with ticks and green-heads. I take my chance with the ticks and green-heads.
Seriously, the ticks are unbelievable this year. My poor husband who gets grossed out by bugs is finding ticks crawling on the bathroom wall most likely from falling off of me when ever I use the bathroom. Believe me, the mere thought of ticks crawling on me and setting up camp on various parts of my body is not helping my love life. It is really disgusting but I guess that it is reality when you are outdoors all day long.
I couldn't stand the heat any longer so my long time pal came up to my house during my 'lunch break" so we could sneak off to the beach. "Sue" is a real New Englander and was keen on going for a swim in the ocean. Last weekend, when I went scuba diving, the water temp according to my UW temperature gauge read 42F so I was bit leery about going in with just a bathing suit.
The sun was beating down and we stood at the edge of the water up to our knees. The waves were huge and there was an undertow. We would inch in slowly until a big wave hit us and soaked us.
Oh My God! It was freezing!
Since we were already wet we decide to stay in a bit like two jerks screaming every time we got hit with a wave. Ah! I guess this is the official start of summer.
I have to say we were "good" this time with our choice of snacks. I brought a big tub of strawberries, granola bars and seltzer water. Sue brought some raisins. This is good since our usual choice of snacks is poptarts, yodels and of course, donuts. We would sit on our chairs with our faces filthy from chocolate and powdered sugar after making pigs of ourselves with our sugary treats. Nope, not this time.
Could it be that we are finally growing up?
Nah..I doubt it!

Cesar's way

I just got my second issue of "Cesar's way" magazine.
Of the course, the magazine cover has Cesar Millan looking all tanned and handsome with that smile.
That's enough of an invite for you to want to take a peak inside the magazine.
I have to say, I really like the magazine.
It has some interesting articles not only just about dogs but dealing and understanding people. It is quite insightful.
Even if you are not really a "dog person" you can't help but look at some of the photos of the dogs and go "awwwwwww!" There are some really cute photos (and funny ones too!)
If you travel with your dog the magazines features a section that shows you places, hotels, parks ect.. that are "pet friendly". There is some good info to pass onto some of my dog customers.
There are a couple of "ask cesar' question/answer columns that I find useful for general knowledge.
I even sent a letter in with a question dealing with a naughty jack russell. It would be pretty cool to see my letter printed but I am sure he gets millions of letters that need to be answered with more urgency.
Or maybe he will call me instead....
Ha ha! One can only dream.......

May 25th

Today would've been my Aunt's 72nd birthday.
It is hard to believe that she has been gone for almost 5 years.
I still think of her often mostly about funny stuff that I would've wanted to share with her that I know she would've appreciated. I also just miss talking to her about stuff in general.
Whenever I drive by her condo in Amesbury I get the urge to stop by out of habit.
Whenever I drive by her old place in Rowley, where I spent a lot of my childhood years with my cousins, I slow down and do a "drive by stare". I don't know why I do that but I just do. Maybe I think I'll see my "younger" cousin drive down the driveway on his unicycle with a turtle hanging out of his pocket or the neighbor' s excaped chickens running down their driveway. My Aunt's family hasn't even lived there in decades but the memories still remain.
Funny.
My cousins had a memorial bench erected for my Aunt at Moseley Pines in Newburyport. I sometimes take the dogs up to that park for a walk. It's a nice dog walking park. There are poop bag dispensers and buckets for dog walker's convenience. There is even a "dog" drinking fountain.The pine tree forest keeps the area cool so it is a nice alternative in escaping the heat when you have got dogs to exercise. In the summer time there are free concerts there at night at the park as well. The area where the bench sits overlooks the Merrimack river.
I will occasionally go up there to sit and have a chat with my Aunt. Sometimes I will even bring a cup of coffee with me. It is very soothing.
It is my Aunt's birthday and every year I bring a small bouquet of flowers to put on her bench. I brought Riley and KD with me. This was the first time this year I took the dogs with me here. They were completely bonkers with all the new smells and things to dig around at. It was a change of scenery for them and a cooler place to go since the temps reached 90F.
I'm sure my Aunt must have thought it was hilarious seeing me trying to control these two out-of-control hyper dogs AND picking up their voluminous poop with a bag using one hand.
And of course, the bag had a hole in it.
I am sure she got a laugh out of that.
Happy birthday Auntie.

week one of WW

Ok, so far I've stuck with weight watchers for a full week.

Don't laugh. It is a (big) start for me.

It's so easy to 'fall off the wagon" but I didn't, as a result I lost 5 LBS!

I am actually quite surprised. My stomache doesn't feel as bloated. I've avoided items with yeast such as bread and donuts. I feel pretty good too. I'm starting to wonder if yeasty products aggravate migraines. I faintly recall my neurologist telling me that crusty bread triggers migraines for him. Hmmmm.. we shall see....

It would be kind of bummer to put donuts and bread on the 'no fly list" along with eggplant and rum (alcohol in general).

Last night, I was really hungry.

I thought I was going to "fall off the wagon" so we went for chinese food. I had this HUGE plate of steamed broccolli, egg drop soup and 3 steamed veggie dumplings. I was stuffed and managed to stay within my "points".

It is motivating when you do actually lose weight too.

I've tried various times to stay on course before but nothing really motivated me. Yeah, I thought to myself ,"Oh I'll give up.... for lent" "Oh it's bathing suit season" "Oh I'm going to a fancy party" ect... "Oh my pants are getting tight..with pudge squishing over the sides like a playdoe fun factory"

But it was my tight scuba dry suit that screamed, "CUT THE CRAP! STEP AWAY FROM THE DONUTS!"

I feel I can stick with it this time too.

It is funny what will motivate you to take action.

My father smoked cigarettes for years. He smoked about 5 packs a day. He didn't stop for his health or the fact that any of us kids threw up in the car due to his smoking. What stopped him was the price of cigarettes reached $2.50 a pack! I don't care what the reason is so long as he doesn't smoke. He has been "cigarette free" for about 15 years (or more).

Wish me luck!

Dive #790 May 22 2010

Dive #790 May 22 2010.
You never know what kind of day it is going to be even when you follow the weather reports. It was predicted to be in the 80's F but indeed it was rather cool with a wind blowing from the SW. It was a quiet day on the boat "Easy Diver". The Captain and Chris were present as well as Pat, Pete and Larient.
Since the wind was blowing from the SW we went up north and anchored at "the restaurant". It was a nice calm area.
Chris, Pete and Larient went in to do some UW film footage. I braved the cold water as well to explore the rocks and crevices for critters. At the depth of 30 feet I had a temperature reading of 42F. My dry suit kept me warm for a bit but my hands were F&^%ing freezing. I balled them up as if to fend off the cold. I was just was going to call it quits but my curiosity got the better of me. The viz was pretty good at about 30 feet.
Pete was busy filming a decorator crab in an abandoned trashed lobster trap. As he was filming, a big horseshoe crab was sauntering across the floor. I haven't seen one of those in Massachusetts north shore waters in decades. When I was a little kid, my cousin and I would see dozens of them at the Rowley landing. My uncle would pick them up and chase us with them.
As Pete was filming I awaited for him to look up so I could point to the horseshoe crab. I eventually lost my patience, picked it up and placed it in front of him.
I swam off still exploring but grimly aware of how frozen my hands were. Over by a pile of boulders I found a dead bluefish. It hadn't been there very long because it was fully intact. The sharp long dentition identified it.
I pretty much drained my tank but one dive was enough for me. Everyone else was equally frosted and called it a day.
The tide was a super low tide. Pat was driving the boat and was super cautious as to not beach the boat. We were just about getting to bridge and all of a sudden "THUNK".
The boat hit ground.
Oh shit...
Pete grabbed the wheel, pulled it out, went forward, and again, "THUNK".
He finally got out and around that elevated sand bar.
Despite that little precarious situation we had a great day of diving.

* picture of horseshoe crab found on internet search

cats

Cats can make really nice companions for some people.
When I was a little kid I had a cat named "Derekia". She was a female tiger cat. She was a very well behaved and friendly kitty. She pooped in her litter box, didn't wreck the furniture and wasn't fussy what she ate. She was no problem until sadly, my mother decided to find her another home because of suspected allergies to cat dander. I still believe it was my parents nonstop cigarette smoking that caused my wheezing and coughing because after the cat was gone I still had watery eyes, wheezing and that constant car sick feeling.
I seriously hate cigarettes.
I found through out the years that there is a difference between someone who "has cat(s)' for pets" and somebody who is "a cat lady".
My friend up in Maine who I have known for close to (gasp) 30 years has always had cats. I would consider her to be a person who "has cats for pets." She has five cats and her house is immaculate.All of her cats are well behaved. Her furniture is intact, her rugs are vacuumed and I have never smelled cat pee in her house. Never.
I have had customers who "have cats for pets" and that are 'cat ladies".
I've been in homes that the cats run the house. Cat turds everywhere, vomit and hairballs all over the place and the stench of cat urine floating around. Most of these cats are dysfunctional and have "issues".
One case in particular that this person had just one cat. The cat refused to use the litter box and left packages everywhere. The owner thought this was OK. She was upset that I didn't sit with this cat on my lap. (I had enough to do with caring for all her other animals)
No way.
Either this cat had mental issues, was carrying giardia or had worms.
I wasn't going to put this cat on my lap.
What is interesting that I have distinctly noticed through out the years is how many cats who have "issues". There are so many cats that have diabetes in particular. I have had to learn to give cats daily injections of insulin. Cats are getting 'people diseases".
Another disease that a lot of cats seem to have is feline HIV and leukemia. A lot of them also have psychological problems too such as separation anxiety.
When I had Derekia as a pet the only thing I had to worry about was rabies, distemper and worms. She got her necessary vaccinations.
I asked my friend up in Maine what her opinion was on why there seems that so many cats have issues since she has had many years of experience with caring for cats.
She said, and I have to agree, 'that there are just too many cats".
There was a population explosion and what has evolved is this myraid of "issues".
The shelters are just chock-o-block full of unwanted cats.
People need to spay and neuter their cats. The cats need to be vaccinated for a list of diseases and, they need to stay indoors. (Cats are the number one problem for the decline of the songbird population)
Cats can be wonderful companions but as with all animals under our custodial care is there is this sense of responsibility that come along with it and can not be ignored.