summer reads

Ah! It is that time of year for summer reads.
I just finished reading "My most beautiful" by Mayte Garcia. Mayte was the former wife of my musical idol "Prince". She wrote of her life and their life together. Reading it was like being on a roller coaster. Talk about extreme highs and lows in both their creative lives together (and as well as when they separated) If you're a Prince fan (and Mayte fan as well) this is book is a must read!
My next book that I plan to read is "Unlikely Companions-the adventures of an exotic animal doctor" by Dr Laurie Hess. I tend to gravitate towards these kinds of books about veterinarians. I also read, "Pets on the Couch" by Nicholas Dodman DVM. This book was given to me by my cousin as a gift.
With that being said, two of my favorite people have books being sold on www.amazon.com.
"The Wreck of the Chelsea" by Fred Calhoun. A fun read especially if you are a scuba diver and from the Boston area.
And, "Letters from Apizaco" by my cousin Kim Kudym . It is a collection of letters and diary entries from my (then) 17 year old foreign exchange student cousin living in Mexico . This journal, through the mind of a 17 year old, was hilarious and blatantly honest. She also included photos and "drawings" which added to the story. I do believe her time spent in Mexico was a defining moment in her life. She later became a bilingual teacher for many years.
Have fun reading!

aftermath

I feel like one of those rumba vacuum cleaners that just bang around into the walls aimlessly. Not really knowing what to do at this point.

My mother had no funeral nor wake nor service.  I can't explain how I feel but it feels empty. This seems to be the "new" thing that is done these days. No funeral nor wake. Maybe because of the massive expense or maybe because people can't cope this drawn out ritual .The same thing happened to my friend Marilee. I still find it "wanting".

Regardless, I understand and respect my mum's decision.

 I spent yesterday digging up old photos and put them in a collage along with a police troll doll, his license plate from his beloved truck and a small wooden house jewelry box he made. I displayed them in my living room. Some of the photos made me laugh because most of the photos I have of him is of being a wise ass smiling. One of my favorite pics is one when he looks about 30 years old with flour all over his face, another with him standing in front of his ford fairlane, and one standing next to me with me in my dive gear after diving in the GOT.

Life hadn't been easy for the past 20 or more years as he slipped down a path of mental decline. Horrendous monumental temper tantrums, pathological kleptomania, alcohol abuse and treacherous irrational behavior. I go through stages of both anger and sadness.

I try to focus on the funny and good stuff.

If there is a heaven I hope he driving around in a big ass truck with "Tony" (his dog)along Hampton beach listening to some sports event along with his mum.

June 22 1938-May 10 2017

On May 10th, my Father passed away.
He had been sick for a very long time. That day I visited him at Rockingham county nursing home like I usually do on Wednesdays. "George" the therapy dog comes to visit him on Wednesdays and he was there that day. If he is having  a "bad' day -which means he was belligerent and agitated- George's presence would calm him down. George has provided a great deal of comfort for him. He suffered from dementia, Parkinson disease and diabetes.
Diabetes is what really caused him a great deal of suffering. He had  small cut on his foot that never healed and eventually turned gangrenous and spread. It was absolutely horrendous.
* If any of you readers are diabetic or have friends/family with diabetes let me tell you this is not a illness you can ignore. It is a diabolical disease. Don't think for one second that piece of cake won't hurt you or that you can just adjust your insulin or skip meals. That little cut on his toe made his feet rot because of the diabetes.
When I saw him that day I kind of knew that this may be the last day I see him. He looked so sad. I had to hand feed him water. He was so drugged up on pain medicine because of his feet. George sat on his bed and he held George. When George left and he closed his eyes. I told him I'll see him later, maybe on Friday.
I couldn't sleep that night and strangely, one of my stuffed animal mechanical toy(kakapo parrot) was making this nonstop malfunctioning "eeeeeeeeeew eeeew". I couldn't shut it off.
At 11:58pm Wednesday I got "the call' from the nursing home.
He died on his Mother's birthday.
He is no longer suffering and is at peace now.
I have no words right now.
I'm just sad.